Happy Birthday to Our New Niece, P!

My sister, K6, and her husband K welcomed their baby girl P today!  She is niece number 5 for us!  I am so excited to meet her in a couple of weeks!

Today in primary we had a competition between the boys and the girls.  One little boy got REALLY into it.  He is 5 years old.  When it was the boys turn  to sing he popped up out of his chair, stood as stiff as a board with one foot slightly in front of the other like he was braced for impact, tilted his head back, opened his mouth as wide as he could, and didn't stop making noise until the song was over.  His intensity was so great that he was actually shaking!  He knew about half of the words so the rest of the time he just sang a combination of AAAAAAH and UUUUUUUH.  I was laughing so hard I kept messing up leading and messed up on some of the words even though I could see them!  The boys definitely won for noise but the girls knew the words much better.

We got to visit with some friends this Tuesday that moved away last year.  It was so fun to see them and meet their brand new baby girl.  She is gorgeous and I am totally jealous! ;)

On Wednesday our stake had a dance for the 12 and 13 year olds.  Because Allan holds a calling with the Deacons we got to go to the dance.  Woohoo!  It was a lot of fun!  We enjoyed going out and learning the new line dances and showing off our foxtrot.  I did the Macarena for the first time since Jr. High!  The boys in our ward had been given a challenge to ask 5 girls to dance - if they did then they got ice cream at their next activity.  It was so funny to watch these cute boys, some who had just turned 12, circle the room every time a slow song came on with terror on their faces.  You could see them trying to get up enough courage to ask, and desperately trying to find a girl that wasn't in a large group so that it was a little less intimidating.  I am happy to say that all of the boys will be getting ice cream on Wednesday!

We went to the Temple on Thursday and had a wonderful evening there.  It is so comforting to have a Temple so close and be able to go whenever we feel like we need a spiritual boost.

Saturday we woke up at 3:07am (quite literally) to drive to an adoption conference in Phoenix.   We really enjoyed the conference - as always - and we got to see K and M there too, which of course was an added bonus.  At the conference we talked about infertility and grieving, experiencing a failed placement, special needs adoption and the services provided to help in these cases, openness in adoption, ideas to help find your child, adoption laws, what to expect at the hospital and at placement, and had an adoptee panel and birthmother panel.

It's always so nice to know that we aren't alone in our grief and fears.  It's a relief to talk about these things with people who are going through the same thing as you.  We always leave feeling uplifted and grateful that we came.

We really enjoyed the adoptee and birthmother panels.  The adoptees that spoke this time all had closed adoptions to begin with.  They have all always known that they were adopted.  One still has a closed adoption and has found comfort and understanding in talking with one of her siblings birthmothers. Another one is now open; he was married with children when he found a letter from his birthmother in his parents things.  He said that he feels he has mostly benefited from learning about the health history of his birth family.  The last is about 9 years old; he talked about how he always wondered about his birth family and how great it has been to have a relationship with them, and he really likes that he knows where his red hair came from!  (What a cutie!)

It was of course wonderful to hear from the birthmothers.  They talked about how they came to choose adoption, find their families, the grieving process, and how they have begun to move forward.  They also talked about what a blessing it has been to see their children so happy and in a family that loves them and can give them so many opportunities.  It was obvious that they found joy in the choice that they made.  It is still hard for them though.

That's the funny thing about adoption.

It is hard for the birthmom every day.  From the moment they discover they are pregnant (and sometimes before that) it is hard, and it doesn't stop being hard.  Being content with your decision doesn't make it any easier.

It's hard for the adoptive couples every day.  From the moment they discover they can't get pregnant (and sometimes before that) it is hard, and it doesn't stop being hard.  Even after adopting children the pain of infertility is always there.

But fortunately by being a blessing to each other we can find peace and be happy, even in the hard.