Life in the Fast Lane

We've had a few busy weeks.  It's been a lot of fun though.  Here are some of the highlights:

Allan made me a yummy birthday dinner and cake!  He did a great job and I was thrilled to not have to cook for a few days.  My Mom and Step-Dad gave me a croquet set and we had a lot of fun playing that, and are excited to play it again.  The evenings are really nice here so we should have a lot of time to play.

 

We had the exterminator over to spray for some bugs we couldn't get rid of and he showed us where there were some holes that needed to be sealed.  Allan had a blast sealing up all of the holes.  Since then we've only had 1 lone bug!  Hopefully we won't see anymore!

We spent a Saturday with some friends at the river and then went shooting with them.  It was a lot of fun to shoot some guns but we sure aren't very good at it.  They throw the clay pigeons up in the air so we were trying to shoot a moving target.  Allan got a couple, because he is amazing!  I never got one though.  The guns had a pretty good kick too so I only shot a couple of times.  One of the other guys was really good!  He hit almost every clay pigeon they threw for him!

We had plans to go to the local children's theatre again, but when the day came Allan got called in to work.  One of my friends whose daughter was in the show came and got me so that I could still go.  They did Peter Pan this time and it was very cute!  My friends little girl was one of Tinkerbell's fairies, and she did a great job with her part.  I love seeing children perform - they do the funniest things!

I also attended the birthday party of the little girl that was in the play.  She had a Tea Party themed birthday.  I helped with the food and played some games with the girls.  They were all dressed up in their princess dresses and crowns and enjoyed playing charades and telling each other jokes.  My favorite joke went something like this "Why did the chicken cross the road?"  After a few guesses that were not what she was looking for the little girl stated "because he wanted to".  Hilarious!  I love kids!

I substituted for senior primary for a couple of weeks and had a blast with the older kids.  We played Battleship and (since it was Mother's Day) "Pin the hat on Mom".  I also led the music for the kids when they sang in sacrament meeting on Mother's Day.  When they all gathered up on the stand I was really worried because more than half of the primary was not there!  Most of the kids that were there were Sunbeams and the CTR 4 class and they don't know all of the words to the songs.  They were so excited to sing to their moms though and must have practiced a lot (or the Lord sent some divine intervention) because they sang their little hearts out and said all of the words just right!  I was so relieved!  I loved seeing their big eyes and big smiles as they sang to their moms.  One little boy got really scared when we finished singing, and I had to help him off the stand.  Poor little guy.

That same little boy ran up to me the week before and gave me a big hug.  Then he proceeded to lift up his shirt and tell me all about his new freckle!  The memory of that still makes me laugh!  He was trying to show me but he couldn't see it when he lifted his shirt up and kept lifting it up and putting it down trying to find it.  Finally I just told him that I saw it so that he could move on in his story.  He calls me "my girl".  When ever he sees me in the hall or at the store he says, "Look!  There's my girl!"  What a cutie!

We spent a week in Phoenix for a job training for Allan.  We had a lot of fun walking around the city, and I really enjoyed meeting some of the people that Allan works with.  I got to do some shopping while we were there and managed to get all of Allan's birthday shopping done!  Woohoo!

We celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary while we were there.  Our plans got all messed up, but we managed to have a good night anyway.  Allan got me my first real pearls!  They are so beautiful!  I wore them to church Sunday and all of the ladies were very impressed with his good taste. :)

On our way home we hit 100,000 miles on our car.  I had a picture of 100,000 miles but it was really blurry so I have this one that says 100,001.  It's still a bit blurry though. 

My sweet mother-in-law sent me a cute gift for Mother's Day.  I love it, and it is just what I needed to go on my table with the paper flowers a friend made for me!

We made homemade ice cream for our date last week.  We got this pink ice cream maker for our wedding and have loved it.  (Allan isn't a big fan of the color but I like it!)  This time we made chocolate.  It was the perfect treat to end a hot day.

I have started walking with some friends in the mornings and that has been a lot of fun.  I don't know how much longer we'll be able to do it though because it is getting REALLY HOT here!

Open Adoption

We went to an adoption conference last weekend.  One of my favorite things at these conferences is hearing from the birthmothers.  I am always so touched by their stories and so amazed at their selflessness.  One of the biggest concerns that people have about adoption that we have come across is open adoption.  We have heard that it is co-parenting with the birthparents, that it will be confusing to the child, that the birthparents may be a bad influence in our child's life, and many other negative opinions.  I wish that everyone could go to one of these conferences and hear the birthparents and adoptive parents talk about open adoption.  I don't think that everyone would be convinced that it's a good idea for them personally, but I do think that people would come to understand that open adoption is about loving the child and doing what is best for them.

First, all of the birthparents I have heard, spoken to, or read the blogs of (about 10 birthmoms and 1 birthdad) have all expressed their gratitude for the adoptive parents and how they are raising their children.  These women, and the one man, all have varying degrees of openness in their adoptions.  For example, one  adoptive family is so open with their birthmother that they allow her to babysit their children and they go on vacations with her.  On the other end of the spectrum there is a birthmom who receives letters and pictures a few times a year and sends gifts to her child as well as the other children in the adoptive couple's family.  Most of them receive emails and pictures once or twice a month, some receive phone calls, and some visit every so often.  None of them co-parent.  None of them (including the adoptive couples) have said that their children have been confused about the relationship.

Second, not one of these women (or the man) have mentioned ever not wanting the child.  They love the children they gave life to.  Many of them simply wanted their child to have both a father and mother in a stable marriage.  Some felt unready to parent or did not want to.  But all of them express very clearly their love for their children.  That is why they placed them for adoption.  Not because they were not wanted.  Not because they didn't feel like they could do a good job as a parent.  Because they wanted their child to have more than they could give.  What a selfless and wonderful thing to do for someone.  All of the birthmothers go through a lot of grieving and mourning, but not one of them has said that they regret their decision. 

There are challenges that come with open adoption, just like in any relationship.  But there are a lot of really positive things too.  The child knows (s)he was wanted and loved by his/her birthparents.  That his/her parents wanted him/her and love him/her.  (S)He knows who (s)he looks like, his/her family medical information, and his/her family history.  Whenever (s)he has questions (s)he can go to the direct source of the answers and not have to wonder.  As a hopeful adoptive parent it gives me so much peace that my child will always be able to have his/her questions answered.  Both Allan and I feel that, in most situations, the blessings will far outweigh any difficulties that may arise.

We are looking forward to having an open adoption and getting to know the birthparent(s) of our children.